Belonging

Every August since I was three years old, I have participated in the First Day of School as a student, a teacher, an administrator or a parent and what I have spent four decades of First Days asking is: “How do kids know they belong here?”  

We know from research that a student’s sense that she or he belongs has a profound impact on her or his academic achievement.  As we prepare to welcome 100 new students from across Ethiopia to our brand new campus in the fall of 2020, nothing is more important than getting this right.  So when Deputy Head of School Tesfaye Kifle traveled to the United States this fall so we could visit schools together, I knew we would focus on the key question:  how will we promote a sense of belonging at Haile-Manas Academy? 

Of course the very first days of Tesfaye’s very first trip to the United States had to include some favorite New York sights.  First up was a trip on the Staten Island Ferry with its magnificent view of the Statue of Liberty. Tesfaye and I spoke about the power of that symbol for immigrants who sailed into a formidable New York Harbor: did Lady Liberty fill them with a sense of connectedness to this country?  Later that day, from the top of Rockefeller Center, it was obvious how the landscape of the city had changed over time. We asked, how did that growth change the message to newcomers? 

The question was on our minds when we arrived on the campus of St. Andrew’s School in Delaware a few days later.  Though strangers in a close-knit community, we were embraced by everybody and awed by the role the seniors played in that welcome.  Head of School Tad Roach told parents that night, “We hope you feel the hospitality, generosity, and love of our senior class today. The role of a senior here is not about power, privilege, or hierarchy but rather an expression and cultivation of the School’s highest values and aspirations.”  Tesfaye and I will take the explicit lessons Assistant Head of School Ana Ramirez shared with us on how to cultivate this ethos so that it takes root and thrives on our campus.

One week later, standing just outside The Bowl in Lawrenceville, New Jersey, Tesfaye and I witnessed another powerful display of community unity, this time through the tradition of House Olympics at The Lawrenceville School. The house system came vividly alive when McClellan House students began shouting their cheers and lifted each other up - literally and figuratively - on their march to opening ceremonies.  Another lesson for us: the significance of setting up good structures and scaffolds to create powerful small communities of support and practiced leadership.

Communities come in all sizes.  In addition to the practical lessons Tesfaye and I took from St. Andrew’s and Lawrenceville, we came away from our time together with great appreciation for each other and the tiny community of two that we currently are.  We look forward to the journey together, to reminding each other that we are valued in our school, and to modeling every day how a diverse community can be so much greater than the sum of its parts.